Terminal brain speed

I'm back. My mind works again, and how it's working. It's moving in such amazing speed and with such graze that I'm almost afraid to get up in the morning. It might be because I've recently taken to drinking copious amounts of tea, which contains caffeine. And we all know that caffeine is a good way to boost the gray lump of flesh upstairs. Luckily, I kinda need that right now, since I have to write ca 20 pages until this Sunday. I've got about 7 so far, so I'm not too worried really. Most of those I wrote yesterday, so that only proves my theory further. I didn't mention that? My theory is that the brain can be boosted into working at least twice as fast as it normally does using perfectly legal substances all found at your local convenience store. So far I've come up with the following: tea or coffee, doesn't matter which, they contain more or less the same amount of caffeine anyway. Though if your desperate, you could use both, or use instant coffee in suicidal amounts to get stuff done while skipping sleep. Not recommending this one though, since it makes you slightly more retarded than usual for a day or two afterwards before your brain can function as normal again. Then we have energy drinks, who does more or less the same thing as coffee and tea, except for the added effect of loads of sugar. You need a few cans, but after that you'll notice that your movement and your thought are a bit out of sync. This is a sign that you've successfully boosted your brain, but it doesn't last as long as tea (my favorite) so I'd advice it as an extra boost when the tea or coffee starts wearing of. My thought it that the caffeine makes the heart beat faster, which increases the blood flow, which of course provides the brain with extra oxygen. The sugar is the only thing that the brain actually uses, so that's always good. The problem with energy drinks is that the sugar gets absorbed too fast, which leads to your brain slowing down instead of speeding it up. So, to counter this, you need sugar that works slower and provides a constant supply of energy to the gray one. Fruit is actually the best thing here. Kinda boring though. Now, what would happen if you had access to a tube of oxygen, a lot of coffee and tea, adrenaline syringes, and a supply of slow sugar that is a bit more exciting than fruit? We need to know this, it might be imperative to my studies, and if I'm lucky, the results will be mind blowing. Literally.

Our actions do not tell about us, they change who we are

Ever thought about the fact that we act differently towards different people? I hope you have, otherwise you slacking on the rest of the human race you know. Does this mean we change personality as well? How much does an altered behavior change us? If I set up several different accounts and keep them separate, and try to invoke them with different personality's, are they still me? Or are they someone else? Do we have a myriad of different persona's in our heads? And how do they affect our main one. The one known as the self. Actually, they're probably all the same originally. But, what if, throughout acting, writing, role playing and so on, we tap into these different parts of your self? What if we could, in this way, actually alter our own personality's? Can we become someone else by focusing so much on one of our made up characters, that we become that character? Have you been acting differently lately? A sudden change of habit? Started speaking your mind more than usual? Have your taste in music, clothes, movies, books, lifestyle, haircuts, men, women, etc, changed recently? Are you still there?

Y.T the hero

Late upon a midnight dreary, while I lounged around at home naked, and tried to lure my temporarily demented cat to get the fuck inside, I came across a damsel in distress. Actually, she came across me, standing naked in the door to my minuscule backyard, calling out angrily at my cat. Turns out she was the reason my cat refused to move. No, she was not the wicked witch of the north or anything. Just some collage girl trying to get inside the house. She wasn't even a cat burglar clad in latex boots, to my great disappointment. Either way, she asked me if I could open the door. I hurried inside, and put on my shining armor, which for some reason looks exactly like my bathrobe, and went to her rescue. I opened the door, she came inside. Turns out she needed to get to the building next door, which is connected to this one trough some corridor or something. I didn't have a key there, so I said sorry. She thanked me as I returned once more to my castle. Not very enthusiastically or anything, but I suppose I looked more like the Robed Perv than the Knight of the Moon and Sun, so that's acceptable I suppose. Either way, she should really get a key so she doesn't have to ask dead tired people standing naked in doors insulting their cats for being slow in the middle of the night. That sentence is pure genius. Just thought I'd point that out.

Ze Doktor iz IN

I love comics. I'm not ashamed to say so. But as with many things, I'm a bit of an elitist when it comes to plot and art. If either isn't to my liking, I can't read it. Same goes for movies, tv-shows, you name it. Either way, Ellis is one of my favorite authors when it comes to comics. Thing is, I only really love his sci-fi work. Sure, I like superhero comics from time to time, and Bad World was awesome, although I've heard about some of it before. But, it's the stories about the future that interests me the most. Spider Jerusalem taking on the President of the United States armed with a bowel disruptor, his brains, and of course his filth assistants. Global Frequency fighting to save mankind from most about anything really. There's just something about these stories that remind me of the first time I read Snow Crash, and the mental orgasms it caused. It's the near future, and I can actually see before me how we might end up there. A harmful memetic idea spreads throughout the populace, and we need to find the right idea to counter it. Sure, memetics are not really accepted yet, but I hold no doubt it soon will. And with the discovery, and realization of just how big Anonymous is, I kinda feel like taking up the quill myself. Anonymous is a stand alone complex that operates trough memes, with no leadership, and no clear similarity between members. It could turn into the worlds largest and most dangerous terrorist organization, consisting of thousands of different cells. Or it could possibly form any number of covert organization, with time even end up with wast political influence. Sure, it's not likely, but that's hasn't really stopped anything so far, has it? Either way, I was going to say that Doktor Sleepless, so far, is awesome. I'm still not sure the Doktor is actually real or not, considering that part about the tupla. But I guess I'll have to wait and see for myself eventually. Oh, and the grinder symbol is fucking awesome. If I actually knew what it stands for, I might get a tattoo with it. Hell, I might get it anyway.

Just Another Day

A few days ago I was in a rush. I was supposed to have written a disposition for a ca 20 pages long essay about parkour, and how the city change our movement, and how we in turn adapt to overcome the city. But thing hadn't gone as planed, and I was running late. I listened to Death From Above 1979 a hour or so before I actually left home, and with Dead Womb as the metronome for my feet, I jumped on my orange (spray painted) Swedish military surplus bicycle. I had soon achieved quite good speed, and where racing trough the green areas around my flat, heading towards the towering shape of the University. The sun shined, and the wind played, and I could feel the gravel hitting the wheels as I made my way over the dirt roads. Not that any of this really matters much, I had an alright idea, and I got the help I needed to evolve it further. But for some reason, I remember that I thought, as I was about to cross a road, that this should be documented somehow. That precise moment seemed so very important. The light stress, the nice weather, me looking good, and for a change actually feeling kinda good too. Maybe it was the adrenaline, or maybe I just needed to get out and move a bit, but those 10-15 minutes was an almost perfect moment. And I wish there where more of those...

The Multiself

Who am I when I go online? Do I change my behavior, my appearance, my gender? Am I even human? All of this depends quite a bit on who you are, and what patterns you follow while at your computer. Some play games where they turn themselves into great heroes, cunning thieves, powerful and wise wizards, and so on. Others might alter their personality, for instance you might be more outspoken than normally when debating something, or you might just go around and troll and flame, just because you never do when you're being you. I have several different personality's when I go online. When I blog for instance, a certain aspect of me tend to dominate. The thing with blogging though, it that (in my case) you shift from subject to subject. And even if one part of my personality dominate, I incorporate several other parts of my mind into one. Though this makes me wonder, are all these parts me? For instance, one of my persona's belongs to the Urban Dead universe. (I have several I might add.) She is a short, blond girl, a bit older than my real self. This is all just appearance though. Her personality is that of a mental patient. Her vast imagination, and tendency to create stories, imagining all kinds of places, persona's and adventures, did with time become as real as the real world. Reality became another extension for her mind, and in a sense, reality didn't exist for her. Because of this, she has killed several people, none of them deserving to be killed, and is now regarded as Kill on Sight by one of the games largest groups. The thing is, how much do I have in common with the characters I create? What does it mean that 2 of my 3 characters in this game are mad, for instance? Maybe I just wanted to explore madness for a while, but I also believe that every person have the potential for any kind of emotion, any kind of change in personality. So maybe what I explored was not the topic of madness, but my own madness? And than we have the fact that all 3 of my characters are in some way on the wrong side of the law. First we have the crazy killer girl, then we have the pirate who, after having been adrift in a lifeboat for some time, got his brain fried by the sun. And third we have the former mafia boss. The mafia boss is actually the only of my characters who likes to take part in planing, tactics, and those kinda things. So, am I a latent criminal lunatic? Well, I'm not much for order, I believe laws are often flawed and ineffective, but I haven't really found a reason to brake any major once. Maybe there is actually some things I have in common with my characters? My blond psycho-killer girl, for instance, we both like suits and stories. I have quite the imagination I've been told, and I like to write a bit from time to time. All theses things are similar with the character, so maybe it isn't just a made up character, maybe it's an exaggeration of my own personality? Which makes we wonder even more, if the characters I create are, or maybe become a part of me, who am I? Can I say that these traits are something that defines me as a person? Or would that only be one part of me? Sure, most of us have a way the tend to act towards friends, towards family, and so on. This is of course all part of us, so why wouldn't these other's be?

Israeli News Report on Scientology

Part 1:

Part 2:

First serious tv-coverage on Scientology so far. Lot's of people seem to be unaware that only a tenth or so of the organizations part of Scientology are actually open about it. The drug rehab organization Narconon is one example. According to their own research they're number one when it comes to getting people clean. This is of course not true, in fact, according to sources unaffiliated to Scientology and their puppet organizations, Narconons program is less effective than the well known 10 Steps Program. While other programs succeed in 15% of their cases, Narconon claims a 70% success rate. Only comparing the numbers reveals that there is something weird going on. If it was that easy to cure people of an addiction, wouldn't we have a lot less addicts running around? Then we have the Scientology organization's War on Psychiatry. Basically they're trying to ban Psychiatric treatment and the prescription of psychiatric drugs. Not only in the US, but in the entire world. Sure, it may sound a little tin-foil when I say they're aiming for the entire world. But they see it as their mission to save the entire planet. Or at least the people that's not at the top does. What David (the leader) and his friends are after is probably more along the lines of bad comic book villains plans of world domination. Then we have their practice of creating a file on everyone that joins, and making them reveal everything about their past. This gives them a lot of dirt to pressure members with in case they think about leaving the organization. Or at least to make sure they remain silent about what they know. But enough ranting. Watch the news report, and go to the protest tomorrow at the 12th.

Update on: Anonymous vs. Scientology

As you know if you have any sort of attention to what's going on in the outside world, the conflict goes on. And as things escalate, more and more people finds out about it. The Church of Scientology has of course tried to stop the protester by exposing them on YouTube, making a video about the dangerous cyber-terrorist organization known as Anonymous (which contains at best half-truths, and at worst pure lies), and having their lawyers send threatening letters to protesters. But since they don't really have anything to pin on anyone, they can only threaten the unfortunate Anons. And I can call it threats, since they're accusing the protesters of illegal activities whiteout any proof, and saying that they will will contact legal services. The strange this is that they at first say that they've undertaken legal action, but at the end, they say that they will undertake legal action if the person in question doesn't stop what they're doing (alright, not in those words, but that's the message behind the words, so to speak). Then we of course have the protests that's been going on. The monthly ones have been successful each time, but there has also been smaller protest as well. Small groups of Anons have gone out and done "Hug-raids" as they call them. They essentially go out with signs saying "Free Hugs", dance around to the great Rick Astley, shout a little, sing a lot, these kinda things. At first I was skeptical to this approach, I didn't think it was consistent with the image of Anonymous, or something along those lines. But if you actually think about, who decides their image? I don't think anyone can, so saying that this or that isn't "right" would just mean that you haven't got the concept of Anonymous right. There are no real rules or guidelines. Sure, there is the raid-rules of course. "Ebaums did it" is another classic. But that's essentially it. Sure, I understand if someone thinks "Hug-raids" are fucked up, since Anon is supposed to be the dark sides of humanity. But who the fuck decided all of that? And what right did they have to do so? Sure, maybe they've lurked for years, but does that mean they're right? I welcome the chaos that is Anonymous. And it's quite clear if you compare the recent attack at forums for epileptics. Sure, it was a minor raid, and it kinda failed as well, since the attackers hadn't done their research. Either way, it gained some attention from major sites, and everyone complained about how awful it was. In the meantime these "Hug-raids" wear being carried out. Same "group", completely different methods and motives. Either way, I'm getting a bit carried away here. So I'll just provide with a little reading that was massive win. First of, the indisputable best article about Anonymous and Scientology so far. Then we have a famous academics take on this whole thing. And thirdly a study of digital media based on the conflict. This third one isn't full of tech-terms and such, so don't worry about that. And I've recently gotten hold of an Israeli show that apparently kicked Scientology in the metaphorical nuts. It's a good show on a big national channel so at least in Israel Scientology seems to be in trouble. This in combination with the Anonymous protests. The leaders niece dropping out of the cult and starting an organization to help victims escape Scientology whiteout harassment. Germany branding them unconstitutional, as well as a list of other countries being critical towards them could very well be the final piss in a ocean of piss that breaks the floodgates and drowns the organization once and for all. At least one can hope.

Suddenly: Text!

I felt the urge to write something, but my mind kept jumping around trying to avoid moving in one straight line. Lost in a labyrinth of emotions and impulses I tried to focus. Then I realized something... This place looks like crap! But what exactly was this place? What dark pit of hell had I been cast into, and why? Who had done it, and what was their reason for it? Had my occasional jabs with insanity finally taken hold of me? Had I gone over the edge, or had I maybe become one myself? Too many question and too few answers. Things were getting out of hand, and that was only in my mind. Imagine what the rest of the world must look like by now. My straw hat had turned into something smaller and white. I had to actually feel to be sure that was the case. The sensation that passed trough me when I saw the hat I had on my hat laying in my hall was strange and exciting indeed, but also confusing and terrifying. Had I actually removed it myself? I could not recall. But I knew one thing: I had to get out of here. Now. (This was an attempt at a tribute to Hunter S. Thompson, in case you got confused.)

Movies and Life

Part of why I love movies (I've said so before, right?) is that they make you think about your own life. You get a new perspective on things, and in some cases a better one. Like a hour or so ago, I watched Juno for the first time. And a few days ago I watched Little Miss Sunshine. Juno made me think about my life, and Little Miss Sunshine made me think about my family. Both films made me realize that life and me and my family are awesome. Sure, my life doesn't have Juno soundtrack, or the awesome dry comedy in LMS, but sometimes it's just as good. And who needs a soundtrack when you got a few gigs worth of mp3s on your player anyway? So, where I'm going with this? Where the politics, the anger and despise for the human race I usually try to at least hint at? I have no idea. Maybe I've developed a new personality that takes over and secretly plots to throw society into anarchy with soap? Probably not, but hey, stranger thing have happened. Like that cat who predicts when people are about to die...

China and Tibet?

I've been aware of the situation for some time, but today I decided to try and get another view on the conflict. I didn't find anything that wasn't bullshit though, so the only thing that happened was that I got pissed of that there wasn't anyone giving me any real information about the Chinese view on the conflict. I know, hardly comes as a surprise, and I was in favor of Tibetan independence before this thing escalated, but at least I tried. The only thing I've found so far is a barrage of YouTube comments about Tibetan terrorist, western medias lies about the Chinese, and a few people advocating genocide of the Tibetan people. Seriously though, I think most people who have any concept of the ideas of freedom and democracy in general has some beef with the Chinese government. The fact that they obviously really like to censor things that are the least bit critical against the ruling party, anything western media reports on what's going on in China, and so on. So, this either means that the media from the rest of the world lies, or that Chinese media does, and the government doesn't want the people to see it. And this is a democracy how? Sure, some resctriction on freedom of speech is acceptable, just spewing hate and lies for instance, but people expressing their honest opinions in a factual and friendly way? And these are the things we know. Then there's a list of things we've heard, but are yet to be confirmed: Torture of political prisoners. Murder and organ harvesting of prisoners. Secret workers contracts, limiting the actions for people working abroad. This essentially turns factories in, for example, the United States into a part of China. Women given the choice between abortion, or losing their job. These things are not what worries me though. What really makes me worry, and should make anyone with half a brain worry, is the fact that a majority of the Chinese people doesn't seem to care about the obvious corruption and lies by their own government. If I was so inclined, I could compare the current China with Germany before the Nazis got into power. The only problem is, the dictators are already in power in China. The thought amongst the people is: "A strong China is a good China." But this does not take into account what this strength is based on. As long as most people are living comfortable lives with a decent income, they turn a blind eye towards their regime. Thought the fact that Steven Spielberg decided to quit his post as an artistic consultant for the upcoming Olympics in Beijing drew some attention to the situation, most the Chinese media called him "naive", and said that his time in Hollywood has affected his mind. Though I'm sure living in Hollywood will affect you, I'm also quite sure that Spielberg still has some sort of basic humanity in him. I mean, most people are for human rights, as long as they don't personally lose something because of them. I, for one, will boycott this years Olympics. Hopefully a few countries will do the same thing, but that's probably not very likely. Thought they might feel different if China invades Taiwan.

The End is Neigh

This scares the hell out of me. It looks like a decapitated mule with beehives strapped to it. And even though it's probably amazing in terms of technology, which I mostly love, it freaks me out to no end. Especially the way it always keeps it balance, and the fact that it moves like it does. It's like Bambi, if Bambi was a highly advanced robot prototype that is.

This one is much better. It seems less Intelligent, and doesn't move like animals. Plus it's a lot smaller, which means it won't kill you if it tackles you by mistake. It looks amazing under water though. I'm part terrified, part amazed at how far we've come in robotics. Hopefully we won't have to fight these things for out lives later on. Imagine hiding in a basement and hearing that buzzing noise the Big Dog makes... Though that's at least ten years into the future, so we might kill ourselves before that anyhow.

Clutered Space

Commercials. What images, slogans and logos flash trough your mind as your hear that world? If your anything like me hundreds of adds, commercials, billboards, jingles, posters and so on flashes before your minds eye. So, what's the problem then? Well, for one, my brain can be put to better use than storing 20 years of clever marketing. I doubt drugs would have a more lasting effect than the constant bombardment we go trough every day. Alright, some might, but have in mind that I'm against synthetic drugs for the most part, so those doesn't count. Anyhow, I found out about Culture Jamming a few minutes ago. I feel in love with this form of criticism. It seems to be quite free, so you can use it for more or less anything, the only thing that seems to be totally of is to use it for actual marketing. Most forms are bound to some sort of political criticism, questioning what something is, twisting an add into something completely different for instance. But it's hard to explain in words, so lets switch to video, shall we?

Political is good, but if your just looking for some fun, check out: Mario Boxes! I could probably go on for ages about this. Anonymous could be another example of Cultural Jamming mixed with hacktivism for instance, but I don't wanna rant. Oh, and that reminds me... Anonymous held it's second global protest on the 15th. As a result the Enturbulation.org forum is down. They need new severs to handle the extra workload. So the protests are yet again successful, it seems. Alright, one more video, but that's it!

Now go check out their homepage.

Fucktastic

I am not in a happy sunshine mood. The mood I'm in is the kind of mood that would embrace massive extinction of humanity. I'm thinking a global nuclear war, or the sudden implosion of the sun into a black hole, or a supernova maybe. The fact that we are actually still alive is the only thing I can think of that is in our advantage at the moment. We'd have to have done something right to still be alive, right? Or maybe we're just too stubborn to die. If there was a creator, his infinite patience would have run out by now. If there is a creator, he's written us of as a mistake, and most likely hate us. Not enough to kill us all, but that's only a matter of time by now. Negative? Maybe a little. But you surely can't deny the fact that your all fuck ups? Don't even try and deny it, that'll only show how much of a fuck up you are. A good job, a good house, nice clothes, a new car. They lack value. If you make your own clothes, build your own house and car, that makes a bit better. But the fact that you have that kind of money is even worse. And people say money is a part of the human evolution. If it where, why haven't things changed? Why are people still gathering big piles of cash that they don't need? Because they can. That's the only reason I can think of. Sure, kids would be another, but what kind of person turns out alright if they don't have to do anything at all in their entire life? Bored and rich fucks, most likely. Maybe I've watched Fight Club too many times, maybe I've read too much Marx and Engels. And maybe I've listened to way too much Rage Against the Machine. But what does it matter? Is the world changing into the better? Lots of poor countries are still poor, and much of it is out fault. Fucking imperialism. Economical rape is more like it. Wars. Conflicts. Bored teens who realize they have no value, no great role to play for the better of humanity. What fucking choices do they have? Go around with the knowledge that most likely, nothing they will ever do will matter? Kill themselves? Who knows. Some might turn out into people much like me. Bored, disillusioned people who have trouble to express feelings, who become anit-social rejects because they don't see the point of it all? Ring any bells? Or are you perhaps the kind of person who try and cover up the fact that it doesn't matter by constantly surrounding yourself with other? If it's an attempt to keep boredom away, or an illusion maintained to fool ourselves into thinking we're actually important, I don't know. Maybe I should try that for a change? It wouldn't be any problem, I have lots of people I could hang out with. I just don't see the point. But hey, maybe that's what I need, a new perspective on it all? Or maybe I'm just a whiny fuck who needs to get laid? At least life's kinda interesting from time to time. Otherwise I'd probably strapped a bomb to my chest and blew myself up at some nice family beach, splattering myself all over the sunbathing parents, and the kids playing in the water. If I did, I'd probably write some sort of suicide note, or more of a disclaimer, saying that: "There was no reason. I didn't need to do this. But there wasn't any reason not to either. Life in itself could have been reason enough, but is their any need for one person in todays society? Would things fall apart whiteout some of us? No. At most someone might get annoyed that something takes too long. That's it. A suicide is just, at most, a delay for a small part of society. We're all just delays." THAT would really piss people of. Of course, killing yourself is an easy way out. Always is. Especially if you live in the western world. Then your just a whiny fucker who don't realize that there are people much worse of than you. In fact, about half the world is. If you've seen your family killed by some group of angry kids because some fucking asshole in the country next to yours didn't like that your fucking asshole wanted help from the UN to build a hospital. Or how about just because your people have always been in conflict, or religion maybe? There's always some excuse to kill people it seems. Fuck it. I need to study. And guess what I'm reading at the moment? Utopia. If that isn't irony I don't know what is...

The World of the Internet Trough New Eyes

Despite the long title, I'll keep it short. I've discovered what is a half a game, half a bastard child of Stumble with the inventor from Wild Wild West (the quite bad steam punk cowboy movie with Will Smith). It's tool for Firefox, in the form of a tool bar. After you've registered an account, or get an invitation from someone who plays, you can use this tool bar to create portals, lay mines, give people boxes of tools and DPs, shield yourself from mines with armor, and create paths trough the Internet with light posts. You make a path after your own liking, and let people follow it. With portals and other missions, you can connect it however you want, and so can anyone else. It changes your habits on-line something fierce, and messes up your bookmarks even worse. Needless to say, I love it.

Substitute, instead of me

"In all the human societies we have ever reviewed, in every age and in every state, there has seldom if ever been a shortage of eager young males prepared to kill and die to preserve the security, comfort and prejudices of their elders, and what you call heroism is just an expression of this fact; there is never a scarcity of idiots." Quoted from The Use of Weapons.

Another Awesome Title About Something

I just felt like writing, so I sat down and did. The problem is, I don't really have anything to say. Maybe I have written all that I could? Maybe I should start writing the novel of the decade instead? Who knows? I sure as hell don't. If only something could get me really angry, that always speeds the brain up, and lets me really get at things. I could take up my absolute disgust of people who care only for themselves, and don't see the reason for social security. I could take up the fact that in the worlds richest countries there are people starving to death. And then I haven't even touched the worlds poorest countries, and the fact that with somethings as easy as not overeating, and putting some pressure on out politicians we could change this. By removing medical patents we could have cheap medicines that would save millions of lives all over the world. Fuck the money, people will always be worth more, and if you disagree, you should be shot. For starters. You see? Even when I don't really have anything to write about, my mind keeps wandering. It goes on and on, and it never seems to stop. Luckily, I need the paper and pen to formulate my thought, otherwise they're just a blur of emotions and vague images in my mind. Sometimes they're almost silent, sometimes their sharp edges makes cringe. Though I guess this is life. I shouldn't complain really, I am alive, in one of the worlds rich countries, one of the best when it comes to health care and education. But I don't care. If your countries so good, do something about someone else's. Or at least start people talking about it, that's how you change things. You won't stop people eating meat and wearing fur by showing them images of butchered bunnies. At least if they're anything like me, I only want to punch the person who sent me that annoying chain letter. But if it works, I guess it serves it purpose. Fuck people, they're evil anyway, but we might be able to save the animals! I shouldn't be writing when I'm in this state. I stray from the topic like a drunk driver on the freeway, stooping only to piss on someone's ideas. But you know what? People need to piss each other off. If we didn't get upset or angry anymore, what would get the majority of us to do something about the world? Sure, we have people with morals, dreamers, and other abnormalities. But sometimes it just takes the concentrated anger of the masses to shake things up. But the world keeps going round and round. People keep doing what they do. And I grow less and less interested in it all. Does it matter? At least for me, today, no.

This day

It was supposed to be a day of jamming all over town, playing around and further explore the bounds of my mind and body. Apparently, and despite the fact that I'd talked to a guy who felt like doing the same, nothing has happened. Which is a waste, considering the weather for once is actually good. Sure, it's still cold, but the sun's shining trough the trees outside my window, there is not one cloud in the clear blue sky. The only problem is that the place I want to go to is a school, and even though I'm quite sure the kids wont mind me using their rails for purposes they wear not intended, their teachers might. Plus the fact that I was supposed to go with a friend doesn't make me feel any more like actually going. Hopefully we might go later, but the more time that passes by, the less I feel like leaving my flat. In fact, I feel more like going to sleep. And just stay in bed the entire weekend. Too bad I can't, since that only makes me wanna do it more. Oh, well, I'm going to go outside now anyway. Who knows what might happen?

Our violence.

Most of us have a fascination with violence in some way. It's probably a part of our genetic inheritance, that didn't go away with the rise of society. So why is that? Is it such a necessary mindset that it will remain more or less for eternity? Are we perhaps not as civilized as we would like to claim? Or is maybe something that we, deep down, actually like and enjoy? I can't say I know anything for certain, but to me it seems like violence is something we're born with, or something we evolve trough too much bad tv, gaming, and comics? I doubt the second part, unless you already have some sort of psychological disturbance, but can we exclude it? I'd have to say no. Even though I love some games, comics and movies, who focus almost exclusively on violence, I can't say that these things have not had any effect on me as a person. That would be bullshit. Everything affects us to some degree, even if we are not even aware of it. But if we actually focus on absorbing something containing lots and lots of graphic violence, does the effect differ much from anything else? Cheesy romantic dramas for instance? The problem is that what we're seeing is not how things are in life. Movies, comics and games, even if they are objectively trying to portrait reality, can never do so, since they are not reality. Imagination can only take us so far. Actually being in a fight is not a cool exchange of attacks and blocks. A fight (between two people that is) is not a pleasant experience for neither of them. Unless you've been in several you'll be in a state of panic, your whole body will be stiff because of this fact, and if someone actually manages to hurt the other person it's more a case of luck than anything else. Though this is of course not true in every case. This is just what I picture how two normal persons would fight, partly based on the few fights I've seen. If someone actually starts fighting with the intent of hurting the other person, then we have a different ballgame entirely. The problem is, if you want to hurt someone, you won't think of the consequences. The goal is to hit the other person until they don't fight back. What happens after that won't even cross your mind until you realize you have to deal with the consequences. And then it's too late to change your mind. There you have my view on violence. I can't say I'm either advocating the use of it, nor am I suggesting that we all become pacifists. Sure, I'm against violence in general, it won't make anyone change their mind, and change anything that has already happened. But sometimes you just can't think something over, and a punch in the face is probably the clearest way to tell someone that you don't like them anymore. Though I did drift from the topic I suppose. Our culture seems to have have violence in form or another, no matter the time or place. Public executions, gladiatorial combat in the sand in Colosseum, bullfighting, boxing, movies, music and so on. Though is some cases violence appears to be a part of life for some. Organized crime, Yakuza, and all kinds of gangs all live in worlds where violence is a part of life. It's even difficult to say if they're actually a part of our society or not, simply because they use it as much as they can, and don't abide by it's rules. This isn't really a problem though. What is a problem is the glorification of a life of violence that occurs in movies, music etc. On the surface it seems like like it's easy to just start dealing, and soon you'll be living in a penthouse in New York with a big gold chain, grills and Humvee. Which is of course bullshit as well. Even most movies doesn't portray the life of the criminal in that way, Tony Montana dies in the end for instance. And if you drift into a criminal lifestyle expecting to become rich and powerful, you'll most likely end up dead because someone didn't like you for whatever reason. In a recent article the daughter of a Yakuza boss tells us about her life. How her family was living in poverty, and that the honor and glorification of the criminals are just that; glorification. If even a boss of a criminal organization is poor, how does life look for the guys further down the ladder? Hardly any better. If your already poor, and don't really have anything to lose, it might be easier to drift into criminality than to actually get a job. But once that choice has been made, it's a lot harder leaving that life than it was getting in. More about Shoko Tendo, daughter of a Yakuza boss, here.

The Digital Anarchy

We all know the Internet is like a huge octopus, with billions of arms reaching all over the world, making sure we're all connected to each other all of our conscious hours. But who rules over the Internet? Is it even possible to control it even slightly? One of the requirements would be to have the necessary tech, the best hardware and software available. And much of the western world have this tech, but most of them have no influence, other than that of their charisma and opinions. The truth is, whiteout at least a fundamental knowledge of your hardware and software, you are more of a prisoner than a explorer. Sure, we still have the Internet in it's digital form, but that's about it. Though it is a gigantic monster in it's digital form, more options present themselves the more we learn about how it works. This is of course true for life in general, the more you know the greater your options are. If you know how to best lift a rock you can do that, if you know some basic physics, you'll use leverage to move the rock instead. And so on. Simplified: More knowledge leads to more ways of manipulating our surroundings. Back to the Internet then, does the one with most knowledge have the most power in this case? Yes and no. Even if one person with the right knowledge and tools could do lots, a large group of people with the right determination and basic knowledge could most likely do more than him. I believe that the Internet is truly free in this sense, those who decide are the ones that work together in an attempt to accomplish something. Look at Anonymous: An assorted group of different users, who have virtually nothing in common, more than that they frequent the Internet. With some numbers and a bit of leverage people might just be able to move mountains. This is probably what appeals to us as well, the thought that we can actually have some effect in changing things. Since the Internet is a being consisting of information, if enough people decide that one piece of information should be changed, it will change. And it happens almost instantly, in contradiction to modern politics, in which change occurs with time. Usually a lot of it as well. Is there any differences though? Sure, one might argue that politics take longer time because they need to be carefully reviewed, lots of people have to approve of it. But wouldn't the same thing be accomplished online within hours? True, since there are some many different opinions, it might lead some arguing, but since everyone can have their say, isn't the odds just as good that someone comes up with an answer a lot faster than trough normal procedures? But would this be an Anarchy, or a true Democracy? And what's really the difference, when you think about it? As long as people chose to live together, there will never be a true democracy, or an Anarchy for that matter. But the Internet is the closest to it we have so far. Maybe it's just another step in our evolution?

The Electric Brain

We are being of energy and information. We move trough life, absorbing our surroundings, either for nourishment or experience. We are consumers, and for good or bad, we follow our nature.

People/People

So far I have come up with one criteria that makes a person less worth than another. Believing that you are better than someone whiteout basing that belief on any sort of reasoning of value makes you a fucker. Actually, I could finish this topic with that, it doesn't really need any clarification. The only trouble is that psychology has a tendency to believe that anyone that doesn't believe that the self is superior, has some sort of affliction. In other words, someone threw a brick into the old machine. Sure, that might be true, but I'm also not entirely convinced that is the case. Considering todays society, with information, people, and experiences everywhere, wouldn't we change somehow because of all this? True, it probably depends on what images, what data we get exposed to. The question is, does it really change that much from person to person? With memes, articles, videos and so on spreading all over the world in a matter of minutes, how can we not start looking more or more alike? Or at least have quite a lot of common ground in how we evolve? What effects does the flow of information have on you? How has it affected me? I don't know, but were bound to find out sooner or later.

Why the Church of Scientology must fall

I'm not going to tell you any of the propaganda that sounds like the plot of the X-files, or point out the unfair tax reductions the church has. Instead I want to tell you that since this whole thing began, a few people have stepped forward, telling their stories about how their lives looked while they where members of the church. And the stories have been long, often dark, and most of them have made me either afraid, or brought me to tears. What some people have experienced seems like the worst sci-fi stories of oppression imaginable. Here is one example: "Your linked-to video voiceless surprised me. I didn't expect to cry. Years and years ago, I was heavily involved with the Co$. I bought it hook, line, and sinker. I thought I had the ultimate answer to everything and I was willing to fight for that with my life. I endured grueling 12+ hour workdays and virtually no pay for a chance to save the world. I practiced how to lie effectively (they call them TRs) and due to my "get it done" attitude, shortly had an office in the International Administration Headquarters in Hollywood, the Flag Command Bureau, as a member of the Sea Org. I had a nice office with a window seat overlooking downtown Hollywood, and I wore a uniform that looked sharp and military, with epaulets on my shoulder! It's hard to explain just how intoxicating it is to think you have the 100% right answer to all the world's problems. And, as a die-hard Scientologist, that's exactly what you think you have. You can create a beautiful world free of drug abuse, crime, insanity, and war. You just have to apply the tech. You are on the side of freedom, of knowledge, of truth, of unlimited personal power. And anybody who gets in your way needs to be shut up and rendered powerless by any means necessary. It's that simple! But, something just wasn't quite right. No matter how hard I tried, I could never quite do enough, or do it right enough. I had trouble getting the books and tapes to fully make sense to me. When I disagreed with what I read, I was sent to endless word clearing where we looked up every single word in the dictionary, one by one to try to find the "MU" or "Mis-Understood [word]". I had trouble getting up on time in the morning. I got sick from time to time, which is proof that I was "PTS" and needed ethics handling. I went through endless "ethics conditions" despite my very, very best intentions. They were very careful to keep me convinced that the problem was me. It's hard to explain how frustrating it was, to be surrounded by people who are apparently "getting it" and not being able to be one of them, despite having a tested genius IQ, and being able to read just about anything *ELSE* just one time and get it immediately. I thought there was something wrong with ME. I often cried before going to sleep at night. They had the tech, but who could explain me? When I got to work, I got lots and lots done. I was routinely commended for job well done, for quality work, for "stellar levels of production". It seemed that, when I worked, everything I touched turned to gold. Yet I couldn't make the most amazing technology in the world just make sense to me. I could read a book on mathematics, or aeronautics, or software, and turn right around and do it without any problem. (which is their test for comprehension: can you read it, and APPLY the result immediately?) But I couldn't do the same with Scientology. Something was wrong with me. So began my fall from greatness. Slowly, surely, over months and years, I lost all my former glory. My job title drifted from the international scale on down through the organization until I finally ended up at the very, very, very bottom. The RPF. AKA the Rehabilitation Project Force. It's like prison for Scientologists. You are a bad, bad, dude, or something is very, very wrong with you. You have exactly 7 hours to sleep in a crowded, slummy, cockroach infested triple-bunk in the basement. You wear black jump suits with colored arm bands. You eat only left overs. You get 1/4 the pay of normal staff. You perform grueling, hard, disgusting work from the time you get up until "personal enhancement time", where you have 2.5 hours of time to read Scientology books and tapes until bed time. You are not permitted to talk to staff "in good standing", though they are free to bark orders at you. You are not permitted to walk. (No kidding!) You must run everywhere you go, and if you are ever caught walking you are made to do push-ups or worse. You must be careful to stay out of public view because you are "out PR". What is perhaps most amazing to me is that I left, convinced that the problem was me. That, despite my best efforts and honest intentions, I just wasn't a good enough person to pass muster. It took me years to even question, to even bring up the personal strength to ask if the problem was, in fact, with me. It took years more to admit that, in fact, the problem was NOT with me, that the problem was with Scientology. Even now, Scientology invokes the deepest fear and terror imaginable. If there ever was pure evil, it is Scientology. The rage, the fear, the anger, the hatred runs deep. I will never, ever, forgive Scientology. And I will never, ever forget. I just hope I can face my fear enough to not let it stop me from marching next month, because I don't think I could actually forgive myself if I don't. I'm afraid. I'm angry. If you care about decency, if you care about those victims of Scientology, you will be standing next to me, behind a white mask, sign in hand. Be afraid. Be angry. And ignore my tears." This is the words of a former Scientologist. And there are countless more all over the net, even the current leader David Miscavages own niece has recently gone out about what she experienced. Not a pretty one, but she told it anyway at one of the protests, with tears in her eyes behind the black shades, and her voice almost cracking with emotion. But members of Anonymous have also gotten their share of abuse, thought not nearly as much as the former members and long time critics. An Australian Anon got fired from his job, after someone mysteriously sent his office a comment about a manager he had posted on his private blog 6 months ago. He seems to take it very well though, and is expecting to find a new job soon. Other Anons have offered help with legal issues, and some are pulling strings to get him a new job. Another have got death threats on the phone, but so far we have gotten away quite safely, compared to others. I have also heard that the CoS don't know what to do with this new threat, the masks makes sure they don't get any targets that they can harass, and they have ordered their people to either use their tech (stare us down), or ignore us. It doesn't seem to be working though, since most of the Scientologists appear to be curious on who these people are, and what they're trying to say. That is what this whole thing is about, getting people on the inside to start thinking, and hopefully acting. I don't wish for a bloody revolution, but a reformation would be most welcome. We will come back for you! <3

The Worlds Greatest City

All of you have walked through it, it's vastness is difficult to grasp, yet it is a place where you can never be truly lost. It is the synthesis of our civilizations, a brew made from all the cultures of the world. It contains all, and nothing. It is the Internet, of course. Sure, it isn't a city in the traditional sense, but if we compare the two we find many similarity's. The constant flow of information, the social networks, the almost unlimited supply of services, both legal and illegal. The only thing the Internet lacks is real physical movement, sure, you might count the electrical signals rushing trough the wires in the back of you computer as movement. This is of course true in a sense, movement is just another form of energy, but we experience different forms of energy in different ways. We are beings who are made to gather information and use it to our advantage, but the information can be acceded from any computer with a connection. This does not mean that physical learning isn't important, martial arts, parkour, figure skating, climbing, and so on. There are thousands of thing one must learn by practicing them. What the Internet has done is create an infinite amount of choices for us, some we do in the virtual world, other we do in the physical. So, what is so great about the Internet then? Except for it containing all the knowledge, both true and false? Well, first of, it's a thing that constantly change. Like our society, the Internet is re-structured, parts are torn down, others are built. Others just get a face lift. It lets us interact with most of the world, something that is quite amazing when you think about it. We can share stories, get to learn people, and have friends, even fall in love; whiteout even meeting the person in question. Isn't this in itself proof that humans are so much more than their bodies? Not that any sane person would believe otherwise, but still, reassuring oneself once in a while is always good. The Internet is ideas. Constantly spreading, dying, changing. Just as they did in ancient Greece, forming complicated networks consisting of people, so do they today, forming networks between computers, and ultimately, their users. This accelerated growth of the informational flow is both good and bad, on the plus side we get an infinity of information, and the means to spread our own. On the downside we get shorter attention spans. Ever wonder why young people don't read books? This is most likely why. Since birth we receive information constantly. Especially if you live in a city, since there is always some noise or light that the brain reacts to. We work constantly, even when we don't have to. Sure, watching tv might seem relaxing, but your brain has to handle a lot of input. Listening to music in a pitch black room is to be preferred in that case. Rest is of course the one thing that lets the brain wind down. It never stops working, but it can go into stand-by mode for a few hours, checking the system, sorting the new information, that sorta thing. It's remarkable how similar the Internet, computers and so on, are to ourselves and out society. But then again, we made it, so maybe not. The worlds most human city: Internet. Population: About half the people in the world. And don't even get me started on how big it is...

Life, Insanity and Information

Jupp, I'm finally saying something about myself, though I doubt it will be a glorious description of one of the heroes of our time. Anyway, before I depress myself, or you, to death, here's some basic info about me: I'm addicted to music. Meaning I can easily listen to 10 records a day, no problem. Movies are something else I tend to love, though I haven't felt like watching any lately for some reason yet to be brought to light. I am some sort of slacker nerd, if you need that sort of definition. Some people say I'm more indie though. I have no idea, and don't really care either. I am a university student, Intellectual History to be be precise. Coincidently, this is something of the most boring i have written in my life. Who give a dead dogs cock about it, except for my mother? And what does this say about me? Nothing really, I listen to a lot of music, but who doesn't? I like movies, most people do. So, what terrible secrets do I hide? Who are my victims? What hides in the dark corners of my soul? Not much, I have thought about killing people once or twice, fighting and dying for some cause I thought was just at that time. Orgy's, wild sex in one form or another, becoming a hermit and discovering all aspects of myself. I think a lot, would be the short answer. The only thing I know is that I don't know much about myself. I have no idea what I am, what I am able to do, what I could become if I strive for a goal. I don't even know if I have any real goals. This is what I have realized after having lived for 20 years, more or less. The years pass and you learn more and more, but all this knowledge makes it harder to decide between right and wrong. I'm not even sure there is such a thing as right or wrong, I do know what I think is right and wrong, but isn't that really all we got? Fashion, tv, computers, media, art, books, music, commercials, pins, food, and so on and on and on. The world is so full of information that we shut ourself off to get away from it. We drown in the constant flow, but have no choice but to accept it, doing otherwise would be admitting that we've lost control. As I walk trough this fairly small town that I live in, all these things bombard me. I am aware of what people wear, what the papers say, what cars I see pass me by. But the only thing that does not hit me until I am home again is that I am part of it all. The world we live in is no longer in our control. Sure, we have elections, we can chose to live on day by day, but what happens if we try to change the system, or break out of it? The system ends up rejecting us for the most part. And if some small change does take place, it's mostly so small that we don't notice it at first. But on the other hand, doesn't the modern human have to be constantly changing with society? All this new information hitting us day after day, hour after hour, second after second. If we don't change, perhaps we erode until we disappear? We get worn out, or maybe depressed, if there even is a difference. No wonder people go crazy when you think about it, if you change your reality you change the information. And if reality is no longer real, you no longer have to put up with it all. Maybe insanity is the sane reaction to todays society of never-ending input? If the society is insane, does that mean that your insane if you accept it, or if you reject it?