The Multiself

25/01/2009

We're Doomed

At least according to this guy.

But despite his somewhat serious tone, there's loads of interesting things in the links.
Like the NYPD wanting to be able to shut down cell phones in case of terrorist attacks.
Which, is of course, fucking dumb. If the terrorists works in cells, or have an actual plan to begin with, it won't matter.
And if they've set up a diversion, for instance blowing something up, people won't be able to call for assistance.
Sure, it might cripple the terrorists if they're lucky. But it will also cripple the society, and the police departments source of information.

And then there's the French police raid on a new started village for people who wanted to live in a better society, and decided that a small village would be the way to go.
Apparently they where dangerous Anarchists plotting to overthrow the French government, according to the French government.
There is apparently evidence to this fact even, although none has been presented so far.
According to their neighbors all of the arrested where nice people.
And besides, I thought violent Anarchists usually lived in the city? It's a lot easier to light things on fire if you don't have to drive for a few hours to get there first, for one.
And if you live in a village like that, there's always something to do. It's people who live in the cities that gets bored and unstable.

Then there's this:

Which is horrible and scary as hell all in one. This is the shooting that caused the riots I posted about on the bottom of one of my music posts.
I've heard he mixed up his gun and tazer, which don't really make me feel any better in any way.
Then there's things like this, this, and this. But it seems things are calming down a little.
If, on the other hand, the situation escalates things could get really bad really fast. It hopefully won't come to that, but if the officer just gets a slap on the wrist there's no telling what might happen. He had the sense to hand in his resignation a few days afterwards at least, so that hopefully diffuses the mess somewhat.

Via Grinding.

23/01/2009

Competetative Use or Abuse of Drugs?

Drugs are, depending on who you ask, good or bad for you. Ask a Doctor and he'd say some are. Ask a addict and he'd probably tell you to fuck off or something. He might also try to kill and eat you to dispose of the evidence. I would. But it seems there is a new form of drug use on the horizon, the sort that do not surprise anyone who actually know a thing or two about this in the least, but we can't all keep up with what new and exciting new flowers are being found in the rain forest that turns the world into Jello when you smoke them, now can we? I sure as hell can't. I need some reality to stab me in the sockets once in a while. And I can't get that if I have elves singing happy tunes about la-la land in my head, while drooling on myself on the floor. So therefore I welcome this new approach with gusto. The new type of drug is not for fun, it is not to relax and enjoy life, it's not even about seeing pretty music and hearing beautiful colors. It's about working until you knuckles bleed and your ears rot and fall off. Drugs that will turn your brain into a nuclear powered machine bursting with ideas and processing at such a speed that you'll most likely have to wear an iceberg on your head to avoid spontaneous combustion. Now try shouting that 3 times from a bell tower while dancing with a monkey. You can't, can you? Getting a monkey can be a bit tricky though, so I won't torment you about it too much. Where are they doing this you may ask? Silicone Valley, of course! Where Pamela Andersson rule supreme, and the size of your bosom dictate your standard of living. Even men have huge knockers in Silicone Valley! ... Or maybe that's the script for a porno I'm working on? Yeah, probably is. Anyway, the people who sail the virtual seas, and pirate and plunder the world of bytes are drinking their super-rum and building castles out of their ideas. The next version of Microsoft will most likely have been made with the aid of powerful brain boosters. I wonder, if you look closely, can you maybe see the outlines of a smiley face starring back back at you? Via Open the Future.

Oh God Why Am I Not Well Yet?

Did I scare you now? Admit it, you thought I was gonna write and complain about still being sick once more. But no, I am gonna complain about other things instead! Like the fast food industry, and why it evil and should be isolated and sent into orbit with nuclear warheads! (Except for the fact that sending up a few thousand McDonalds, Burger Kings, and so on on a huge wire attached to nukes would look awesome that is.) Let's start with the things we know: it will fucking kill you in the long run. It does not provide you with what you need, it only fills your stomach to some extent. The only good thing is that it's fast and comfortable. We don't need more comfortable things in our lives though. What we need is something like the plague 5.3, so that once we make it to work whiteout our face rotting and falling off, we're happy. Thank God for the failing economy and environmental crisis though. These are things we can all agree upon. We gather in little groups, and say "This is bad. Fuck you problems, we're gonna do something about you!" and some actually does! Some think about it, or complain about it on their blog like they're better than everyone else. Of course I would never do that, but you know what sort of people I talk about. The ones driving diesel SUVs, that get fake tans, that would actually wear expensive jewelry. (For some reason I start thinking the word jewelry comes from the fact that Jews are supposedly good at diamonds. I know it's jewel-ry, but I keep thinking jew-lery.... Maybe Sarah Silverman could create a fake super villain with that name or something?) Ok, so maybe you wouldn't confuse me with tasteless rich people. All they have to do is buy whatever the designers make. Poor people have to buy cheap things and make them look good. I buy stuff from thrift stores and make it into other stuff, some of which you can actually wear whiteout violating indecency laws! But that's an easy point to make really. If you're used to adapting to things, and have to be creative to survive in todays society, of course you're gonna be more interesting than someone who just does what they please and don't have to face any obstacles. And yes, I have something of a negative of rich people. Or at least rich people who are either lazy or stupid. Or act like idiots in bars. Unless they buy me things. I can't hate people that buy me things, even if I don't really like them. This is not hypocrisy, it is honesty. Ok, so I might have side tracked a little there... Anyway: environmentally fast food is disaster. Cheap Indian beef... Hey, aren't cows supposed to be holy? Or is that China... Ah well, some poor bastard of a country will have to cut down their rainforest's to grow cows for lazy people to eat at McDonald's, or some other hell-hole of a fast food joint. It's bad for you and the environment. What else do you need to know? Maybe how to cook food? Yeah, buy yourself a cookbook instead, and make something easy and nutritious. If you really can't cook there are probably students cookbooks that you can buy. If you can't even boil an egg though you should probably sure your parent's or something... Or, you know, yell your faces of at each other. That's always fun too.

21/01/2009

Good News Everyone!

The worlds largest botnet is being constructed thanks to a a worm that's infected a few million computers in around a week. Is it Skyney? Is it aliens? Is it a government conspiracy to take power over the Internet?
I don't know, and I don't care because I haven't got it yet.
Go here to see if you do.

Possible epidemic of H5N1 in China?

Yeah, that's it. I also read something about a Mexican police chief getting killed after only five days, and one of the cartells leaving his head in a icebox outside the police station. Torture, hitmen, and gunshot wounds were also mentioned.

19/01/2009

Video Projection

Very cool. A possible future where the line between adds and billboards are blurred comes to mind.

18/01/2009

Haze

Sick again.
I probably didn't get completely well since last time, and two hours at the local bathhouse didn't exactly help either. Or maybe it was the bicycling around for half an hour with wet hair?
Either way, things have gone all foggy and unclear. I should have made my way over to a friends to borrow a few books for my classes, but I'm gonna have to skip the chapter that I'm supposed to have read until tomorrow. I'm feeling bad enough as it is, going all the way there and then back again would probably end up with me unconscious in some ditch somewhere.
Oh, and I'm supposed to get up at 7 tomorrow. Which means I'm gonna have to go to bed soon. I have serious doubt as to my ability to fall asleep this early, but I'm gonna have to try I suppose.
And here come the headache... fucking hell.

Something more interesting will be posted soon. I might post that dream I turned into a short sci-fi story even.

16/01/2009

Life on Mars?

Nothing mayor, just microbes... On the other hand, it would be life on another fucking planet! HOLY SHIT IT'S GONNA EAT OUR SOULFUL BRAINS! RUN JAMES BROWN, RUN!

Via Open the Future.

13/01/2009

Work hard

My brain constant shifts between furious activity powered by a homemade energy drink made from amphetamines and gasoline that I inject trough my eyeballs, and an semi-unconscious state where the walls seem to melt and I spend a few hours in a little white room to construct new and brilliant things to do once I regain momentum. Or, alternatively, I spend the time in the white room listening to Asian people chanting. Chopin works too. I have around a week to read around 8 books, and write 50 pages. After that I start my first Psychology course, which is probably a good idea since I'll be needing at least 3 nurses to take care of me after this is over. There is also the possibility that I'll have to write and read my 50 pages on memetics while also studying psychology. If that happens I might actually die. Spider Jerusalem's ballistic brain meat comes to mind. I'm thinking it's entirely possible to loose an eye by getting hit by my frontal lobe. But you'll notice when I die. Even if you're in a far away land, you'll suddenly get an urge to cry and jump in front of a train because you suddenly felt so very lonely all of a sudden. That's how important I am to the continued existence of this plane of existence!

11/01/2009

Original teaser

Needless to say I'm looking forward to this in this New Year of 2009. I'm also looking forward to Special, The Brothers Bloom, and a few others movies you might not have heard about.
I might even post a list of movies to look for in the coming year.
All thanks to Twitch!

09/01/2009

John Safran vs. God

The first episode where he: gets a colleague a fatwa, mocks Scientology, does a peyote spirit walk and insults atheists.

08/01/2009

White World and Wildbirds & Peacedrums. Plus the latest News.

There is snow outside. That is all I have to say about that. Well, alright, it supposed to be a few degrees above freezing later today. How does this work? I have no idea. But either way I'm gonna go out and stomp around in it in seriously insulated boots to hear that satisfying cracking sound. I'm probably gonna end up dead because of all the ice below the snow, but it'll be worth it either way. Also: Yesterday I discovered another awesome band! Wildbirds & Peacedrums is their name, and they're actually Swedish. I discovered them via television of all things. This is rare ever since they stopped airing the awesome show known in these parts as "Musikbyrån" (the Bearu of Music). I love that show, it's awesome for discovering new music. I still get by though. Now I show you a video! Watch and be mesmerized:

Drums and singing. That's it. Well, almost it. They use one of those hand smash thingies once in a while too. But still, it's seriously awesome considering how minimal it is in format. These guys can literally play anywhere if they feel like it. Like on the stairs of a building at a café:

And what else is going on then? Well, Israel has killed UN personnel bringing in supplies to the Gaza strip, which has effectively ended all UN aid from being delivered to Gaza. This despite the UN having informed Israel beforehand. I can't help but wonder if it's a conscious attempt to stop any help from getting trough? Read more about the conflict here. And I just found out that there's been riots in Oakland when a police officer shot a man laying face down with hands on his back. Here's some photos from it on Flickr. There's probably more to be found if you so wish. Found via Warren Ellis.

06/01/2009

The Gaza Situation

This is a tricky path to thread whiteout taking sides, but I'm going to try in any case.

So, we have a background to this whole thing, but I'm quite sure we can sum it up as: "Years of conflict over matters that never got settled properly."
It sounds official and good, plus I don't have to write down a short history lesson either.
Who's fighting then?
The Israeli Army and Hamas. This is pretty much clear.
And here we see the first problem: An army fighting against a form of urban guerrilla? This means that Hamas operates mainly in highly populated areas. They blend in with the rest of the population, and can use any civilian casualties (of which they are partly to blame) as propaganda to increase their numbers. They also use populated areas to launch their attacks from, which means that the Israelis have a hard time hitting their attackers whiteout hitting other people too.

Other factors that's also making things worse are the fact that there's an election coming up in Israel, which means the current government must show that it's strong and can act when it's people are attacked.
Another factor is that there's no real infrastructure in Palestine. It's even doubtful if you could call it a country by our standards.
I think that would be part of the solution actually. To repair the infrastructure. Especially if Israel repaired it. That would show the Palestinian public that they're not trying to kill them all, and would decrease the support of Hamas. Though this would also put a lot of Israelis in harms way, which is why I highly doubt it'd happen.
What alternatives are there then? A third party enters the country and repairs the infrastructure with the support of Israel. Military support is more or less out of the question, but some financial support would probably be possible.
Then again, a better infrastructure might also mean that Hamas can attack Israeli civilians more efficient, which no one wants.

A large part of the problem would also be what the two groups think of each other. I'm betting that the Palestinians think the Israeli are just murdering oppressors. While they're just trying to protect their people, and kill those who kill their people.
The Israeli might also think that all Palestinians are cowardly terrorists. After all, if all you see about a group of people is the bad things they do, wouldn't you think the same thing?
And then there's the people who wants revenge for their families, who (depending on which side they're on) either join the military or Hamas. Hamas welcomes them most likely. The Israeli military probably does too. A motivated soldier is a good soldier after all.
But the military shouldn't. Or should at least make sure someone that might be looking for revenge isn't guarding the border to Palestine.
I'm not sure it'd help too much though, since roadblocks gets attacked too, and loosing your friends in a suicide bombing right in front of you will affect you.

It's a sticky situation in many ways, and both sides are to blame somewhat for it. Removing Hamas and improving the infrastructure would be a lot of help in restoring peace in the area, but how to do it? There's no easy answer there, I'm afraid.

(I'd also like to add that this post isn't fact as much as it is opinion.)
Inspired by Chiron.

05/01/2009

Frost

It is cold outside today. Cryo is, I think, the Latin term for cold. (Icy cold even. I looked it up.) Liquid nitrogen is a cryogen it seems. And cryogenics is the study of how low temperatures occur, and how they effect things. Sorta. And I can say for certain that the temperatures outside makes me feel like my face has fallen off, and my feet are drifting away filled with helium. Anyway, I decided to post in lack of things to do. Not that I don't have things to do, it's just that I can't seem to do them for some reason. So, here's a video I found interesting:

Low. Life. from Clayton Cubitt on Vimeo. Found via Warren Ellis. I've also been listening to Larkin Grimm quite a lot. It's fucking brilliant. Kinda like flash-freezing a living flame inside a block of ice. Plus she looks likes she could kick my ass by thinking hard enough about it. But despite impending doom, it is good. It's some sort of intense, slightly erratic combination of sounds and emotions that feels very right. Yeah, enough of that now. Obey, do not question. Etc. End.

2009 so far

A new year is here. Sorta. I was too drunk to notice, which might actually have been a good move on my part. The bad thing is that I have to pay for the things I borrowed at the party, got incredibly drunk, and got home at seven in the morning the day after. Oh, and everyone now thinks I have a crush on Gary Oldmans mustache.
But I got to meet a friend of mine who's been to Japan for 2 years or so. Which was totally awesome. We didn't talk nearly as much as we should have, but we were both sorta drunk. Or at least he was when we first meet up. I joined him not soon afterwards.

But enough about my nights spent rambling incomprehensibilities at people while drinking up others booze, smoking their smokes (or in this case hookah), and generally having a good time. I'm sure at least someone got pissed and wanted to punch me. Luckily I am tall, some might even say that I am big. I'm not sure I'd disagree, but I do get a small chock as soon as I see someone taller than me. The bastards...

But yeah, a new year, a new start. Or not.
I've been reading about memetics lately. And even in some cases indirectly.
Something sorta hit me a while ago though.
If we had to reach a certain state of development for memetic ideas to take hold in our minds, what is the next stage?
I know most people may not be too aware about memetics, which really is their loss, because it makes sense in a lot ways.
The fact that it also has the ability to incorporate almost anything into it's system sorta helps too.
But, if we can reach a state where our ideas, thoughts and believes behaves like viruses that constantly affect or mental immune system, what happens when we evolve further? Will ideas start jumping from people to people as our minds becomes more and more alike? Kinda unlikely, since a lot of things shape the structure of our brains. Language for instance.
But look far enough into the future and it might just work.

I've also realized that conspiracy theory's and religions have a lot in common in the way they affect their believers. More on this at a later time though.
And I've realized that identity is one hell of a interesting subject. What is my identity, how does it affect others, how does it look from another perspective, what does it consist off, can I alter it somehow? Is my identity based in some fundamental principal that everyone shares? What happens if I manage to change it?
Lots to think about. But for now I should probably stick to the memetics....

24/12/2008

And I Refuse To Forget by Nuru Rimington-Mkali

23/12/2008

Stars by Eoghan Kidney

22/12/2008

A Musical Interlude

There will be no singing by your truly. Not that I can't sing, but my throat would probably collapse if I did the least bit tricky. Still got a bit of a cough left too. But instead I come bearing gifts! I didn't make them, and I certainly didn't pay for them, but I did spend time on the Internet looking them up at least. If you get allergies from YouTube you might as well disregard this entire post, cause there's gonna be tubes aplenty I'm afraid. Let's get going then, shall we? Wax Tailor is mostly ambient trip-hop, but sometimes they collaborate with some great vocalists and the result is often quite hypnotic:

And that's that. But there's no wonder I love Wax Tailor, trip-hop is one of my favorite types of music, along with some hip-hop and bebop I could probably get by for the rest of my life on it. Anyway, personal trivia besides, we journey onwards!

Sean Price, who's really good, has made this little tune that goes by the name of Onion Head. It's at the moment one of my favorite songs. Heavy cursing ensues. Be warned. I might as well keep going with the hip-hop now, here's Madvillain:

But things take a turn towards the abstract when J Dilla grabs the mic:

Anyway, enough hip-hop for today. Time for some GoldieLocks instead. You might remember the name from a previous post, but this time she has a real video, and it's also quite interesting. It contains her disembodied head, arm, a gray miniature dancing version of herself, some nice, although erratic colors... Yeah, you get the idea I think. It reminds me somewhat of Santogold, which is not a bad things I suppose. Unless she gets upset and comes and stabs me over it. Or it turns out she and Lykke Li are in fact clones that are taking over the world...

Alright, I might have scared some of my young readers with my talk of clones, so here's something lighthearted about kittens from SoKo to cheer you up:

SoKo is mostly famous for her song "I'll Kill Her" which you have here, although in a unplugged version from the back of a cloth store or something. It's awesome either way:

Dammit, I know everyone has already heard Lykke Li, but I just have to post this video that is actually quite a good depiction her live performances. Weird little dances, cocky, baggy outfits. No wonder I love her. Plus the video is crazy fun:

Last stop on this railway trough my musical taste is a remix by Flying Lotus, which I discovered trough a friend recently. Mia Doi Todd's "My Room Is White" becomes something else entirely. Or at least I think so. Haven't heard to original actually, so I have no idea really. But it would be a quite stupid remix if it's almost the same as the original, so let's just assume I'm never wrong, shall we?

The End.

The Flu

Turns out that's what making my head dysfunctional. I'm getting better, but today is the first day since the start of last week my head feels somewhat clear. I've got loads to post though, so I might as well get started. First of it turns out Peyote isn't actually dangerous. At all. In fact it seems it might even improve some mental processes. Since the study is funded by the American "War on Drugs", I'd say it's quite reliable. More at Dose Nation. But you can't just throw down some mescaline and take a nap. You need some music that will melt your brain and re-furnish your face. Enter Lightning Bolt:

If drugs and chaotic music isn't really your thing, I can instead offer you the following arrangement: How Television Works:

Really informative, and kinda scary. And while we're at it, here's how the News Work:

This one goes mostly for people in North America, but I'm quite sure it's more or less the same in other parts of the world. The exception would be some state-owned channels, but this also depends on how much they push their own political agenda on the viewers. Some manage to do what they're supposed, some just sounds like preachers. There, that's some of what I wanted to post. I might update more during the day. I've got one or two things I wanted to preach about myself. Luckily, you don't have to agree. In fact I expect you to disagree with some of the things I say, and would love to argue about it a bit from time to time.

17/12/2008

Dos manos zurdas y un racimo de ojos manchados de gris aka Breed by Antonio Trashorras

Via Twitch.

16/12/2008

Todays Observations

Our personality is subjective. This means that you are a different person depending on who you're spending time with. This is because we think others expect a certain behavior from us. We have become who others think we should be, and we don't even know for sure what they want us to be. Identity is a lot more complicated once you start thinking about it, which leads me to my next thought. Someone has crammed the entire history of Bollywood inside my head. I have a few million people singing, and the resonance is shattering my skull from inside my head. It might also explode, which hopefully results in someone getting impaled by my spinal column. Or maybe my brain is trying to stab my face from the inside? It might also be both, and my brain is trying to escape by desperately clawing it's way out of my face to die like a fish on land once outside. Death by Bollywood. Sometimes I even scare myself. There are falus shaped things originally from China exploding outside and raining down a burst of brightly colored stars on the cold grass below. I suspect witches, and must go fetch my pitchfork. I also have a huge guillotine shaped piece of glass from a broken picture frame that I will make a mirror out of. I'm not sure how to make a mirror, but it is going to involve dark paint and serious tape somehow. I'll probably end up with a peg-leg though. But the loss of a limb will make me forget the headache at least. The brain isn't too good at perceiving pain from different areas of the body, apparently. This is all. I will have to read a few chapters today as well, and spend some time editing my rough start of an essay. But only if my brain gets somewhat normal. If it doesn't I would like some LSD or something to teach the bastard a lesson.

13/12/2008

El Encargado by Nacho Vigalondo

02/12/2008

Letter from God by Dan Le Sac and Scroobius Pip

The video is fan-made. There is a ordinary one, but it's easier to keep up with the lyrics in this one. If you're not a fast reader you're kinda fucked either way though. I agree to parts of the message, but not all of it. It's still good, and gives you things to think about.

Obama! Give America Better Sex!

"
Dear President Obama:

For months, I’ve been predicting that when you win, nothing will change regarding sex. I’ve said you won’t stop the government’s War On Sex; you won’t demand respect for sexual rights as human rights; you won’t prevent religious fanatics from controlling non-believers’ sex lives.

You now have your big chance: prove me wrong. Here’s what you need to do:

* End funding for abstinence-only training in public schools.

* End the Department of Justice’s war on adult entertainment. Keep the war on child porn. Make it clear they’re two different things. [[Regina's Note: Notice Marty's semantics here - adult entertainment vs child porn. Absolutely right to use different words for two very, very different things. Go Marty!]]

* Decriminalize all consensual sex that teens have with other teens. Decriminalize teens sharing photos of themselves having sex. [[Regina's Note: Tech enables us to extend our sexual behavior, as well as create "new" sexual behaviors. I agree with Marty that teens sharing photos with their peers is not a criminal act -- and that their lives should not be forever wrecked for the "crime" of being young and hormonal. Besides, sharing pics is robably the quickest, most effective way to learn discretion and to think about one's own limits and the limits of one's friends. No need to send them to jail. Their peers will teach them the lesson more deeply than the adults ever could.]]

* Increase financial support for Planned Parenthood, an investment proven to reduce poverty and domestic violence. [[Regina's Note: Several of my adult friends, unmarried and married, go to PP for STD screenings and birth control, because they are young working adults who don't have health insurance. It has nothing to do with politics, abortion, feminism or any other "issue" -- except the desire not to bring issue into the world before the women are ready for them.]]

* Take the moral leadership to decrease abortion–by funding contraception services and comprehensive sex education, not by criminalizing abortion.[[Regina's Note: Duh.]]

* Require all sex education programs to be scientifically accurate. Isn’t that required by the policies of car manufacturers, meat-packing plants, and toothpaste makers?

* Require all municipalities that want to restrict commercial sexual expression (strip clubs, adult bookstores, swing clubs, etc.) to actually demonstrate a need to do so, rather than simply claim “effects like crime, disease, and blight are well-established.” Because they’re not.

* Require all federal judges to take a Continuing Education course about sexuality. Healthy sexuality, not “sex addiction” or child molestation. Make this education mandatory for anyone aspiring to be a judge.[[Regina's Note: This is my soapbox as well. So much of what we write, research or study about sex starts with the "something's wrong" -- but what about what's not wrong?]]

* Get the FCC out of the censorship business. Let Americans use the “off” and “change channel” buttons on their TV remotes whenever they want; it’s good practice for voting.

* Remove the blocking software from every federally-funded computer in America–libraries, universities, airports. Start with the computers in the White House and Congress.[[Regina's Note: There's a scene in Cordelia's Honor, by Lois McMaster Bujuold, in which it comes out that the lowest standard of living Cordelia can imagine is not having a comconsole and full network access in a home, much less in the village. When the Barrayarans express astonishment at this naive worldview, Cordelia, a Betan, explains that it's the first item on the Beta Colony constitution: the right to information access shall not be abridged.]]

I’ve said in dozens of lectures this year that you won’t make a difference in America’s War On Sex.

Please, prove me wrong. "
I see nothing wrong with any of this. Then again I am an ungodly Anarchist Swede. Westbro Baptist hates me, yey! Westbro sounds very Scandinavian by the way...
From SexRev 2.0, via Technoccult.

The Liberal Middle East?

There are interesting things going on there.
And I'm not talking about Iraq.
Iran will soon have a majority of young people insides it's borders. As you'll know if you drop by here once in a while, the Iranian blogosphere is crackling with activity.
Saudi Arabia is also heading towards a more open society for women.
The all-girl rock band The AccoLade is a underground hit, as most newsreaders probably know by now. The current King is also positive towards women helping the society, and women are also allowed to have an ID-card now.
So, is this the start of a new, more liberal, middle east? I, for one, hope so.
If Iran and Saudi Arabia (arguably two of the most conservative nations in the middle east at the moment) become more Liberal in their politics, it would probably do a lot to change the entire region.

01/12/2008

This is not the Indentity you're looking for

As usual when reading dear Penny's latest stabbing of all that is well and normal (according to people that think they're normal), I want to jump up, run all the way to the nearest McDonald's, light my pants on fire and use them as a slingshot to propel me laptop trough the front window. Preferably after I've filled it with thermite and nitroglycerin. As it burns and crackles like those burning sticks people like to play with around Christmas, I'd casually walk away with my jacket tied around my hips as a makeshift skirt. If I ever did I'd probably freeze my balls off, but it would be worth it. Being done with my usual plunge into imagination, the part that really made me go "Fuck yeah!" was this: "But conformity is safe. No matter how much time and effort you put in to making yourself acceptable and well-behaved, never doubt that it’s the easy option. I never feel more alive, or more free, than days like today when I stamp into work in big boots, a baggy black hoodie covered with slogans, a bobble hat and no make-up. But it takes courage. Courage to step outside the cosy cage of automatic approval and be your own, real person, without rules." Being somewhat of a gypsy myself (on my fathers side), I relate to this. It makes me feel warm and really alive inside to know that there are people that will disregard what others think and go with what they, and only they, feel is right. No wonder people aren't satisfied with their lives, they're trying to get approval from everyone else. I especially remember a girl I went to elementary with. One day she didn't wear any makeup. The funny thing is, we didn't notice. ("We" being a few guys.) I don't know if the girls did. If I remember correctly her voice was trembling a bit when she told us. I suspect she was feeling uncomfortable, and a bit afraid of what our reaction would be. We told her that we didn't really see any difference. Well, maybe a little if we looked closely. I don't really know what happened. But she ended up putting makeup on after a while. If she felt uncomfortable because she didn't wear it, because of something someone said, peer pressure, or anything else I don't know. What I do remember is feeling incredibly impressed by her courage. Not that I know how much perceived psychological strength a woman find in her makeup, but I can imagine that it's quite a lot. Now that I think about it I should probably have told her just how impressed I was with her. But that was 5-6 years ago now. If anything I've found that I grow weirder and weirder the older I get. I've recently become interested in Anarchism, the Riot Grrl movement (especially the music), memetics (which I'm writing 50 pages about for school), drugs (moderately, since it dry-humps my brain into oblivion. I need my brain, dammit). I've almost stopped drinking completely. I'm actually interested in politics, and followed the American Presidential election feverishly. I suspect I knew more about it than quite a few Americans. Hell, an American even told me so. All of it is obviously me to some degree. But how much? We're once again back to that damned question: "Who am I?" Sure, I could throw up some memetic theory here now. About humanity being a construction the ideas we are exposed to, how they react to the ideas that already infect us, and all of that. I suppose we could just say that we are what we think we are, but this isn't necessarily true either. We are not who we think we should be, at least. That much we can probably agree on. Unless you're the kind of person that can disregard what everyone thinks at all times. Good for you. Not really helping us that are stuck with being social human beings though. We're stuck being influenced by society you might say, so the only thing we can do if that pisses us off is to try and influence it back, destroy it, or create a new one.