Coffee, Sleep and The Thermals

I haven't slept tonight, at all. I didn't have time t, since I had an exam I had to pass today. So right now I feel very tired, worn out and there is something very wrong with my brain. I also managed to get high from a overdose of caffeine... I decided to make coffee to be able to stay up all night studying, so I boiled some water and then poured it in a mug. I then threw some express coffee into the water... About 3 - 4 dl I think. It tasted like crap, but since I hate coffee that was expected, I added lots of sugar. Now I had something that tasted like sugar with a taste of coffee, altogether acceptable. I drank it while reading, and soon became overactive, and had a hard time concentrating. I managed to do the exam at least, but I'm never drinking coffee again. And I've heard a extremely good bloody song! The Thermals - A Pillar of Salt Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwgNMrs-i80&NR And after checking the coffee jar, I discovered that I took almost half of it... It was nearly full.


Long Tunes

The first thing i write in such a long time is not about me. It's about two things that influence people all over the world in many ways. Music and games. (Games as in computer- and video-games.) Music is for me, and alot of other people i suspect, terapy. It lets you express your emotions so much intenser than you normaly do, if you do it at all that is. (That's another problem with modern day society, detatchment from emotions.) It can also change your mood, make you happy, or make you relax. Some kinds of music lets you expess anger and hate as well. That sort of music was a part of my teen period, i listened to death metal, black metal, grindcore and other genres in the more extreme parts of metal. I still do from time to time, but these days its easier to accept things than get mad at everything. Another intressting part about age is that the older you get the calmer you get, meaning that the anger of youth dissapears, or maybe changes form into something else? I miss that anger sometimes, and sometimes i find it inside me. It's usefull at the gym sometimes, and less usefull if you bang your toe against the kitchen-table... Now, why am i taling about anger? Becouse it's what metal is about, your pissed at your girlfriend, the government, the world or something else. So what do you do? You scream and shout, and play your guitar, bass and drums as if trying to kill them. The screams can turn into a dark rumbling bass-sound from the back of your throth, a beast-like growling. Or you can aslo express sadness, or some kind of paranoia with metal. And that is just metal. There are hundred of difffrent kinds of music, and they all express something, not necesseraly emotions, but they tend to have them anyway. But there are good and bad music, most stuff that plays on the radio (at least in the bigger Swedish channels, except for the one run by the government that is) is booring, over-commersialised crap. You cant get away from the fact that the music is distriburted to make money, you can overdo it a lot... Britney Spears is probably the best example if you ask me, its not about saying something with music in this case, its about making as much money as possible. There is of course some good music which purpose is to make money too, it tends to be better if you play becouse you want to, rather than becouse you're greedy. If you could chose between playing beautiful music that changes people, and good music that makes you rich, what would you chose? Games is the worlds biggest form of entertainment, it is also the easiest one to get sucked in into. It is easier to imagining being a part of some other world when you can do things in that world, and imagine that it is your world for a couple of hours is truly entertainment. You can also get away from your real life for a while, which is always good to do from time to time. The fact that there are still people that belive computergames and videogames are just for kids shows how little they know about the world today. I'm starting to bore myself with talking about games now, so i'm just gonna recommend some nice music, bands with mostly long songs (ca 10 minutes). The Mars Volta Sigur Ros Opeth


I Hate It Here

Everybody who knows anything knows what's coming now... I'm going to tell you that you should really look up this guy called Spider Jerusalem, he's not a real person, but is never the less a better one than a lot of people. Why? Because he's honest about everything, even if his mother would look like a half dead crack-whore he would tell her, because the truth matters... Now for people. Their is two things that make people something to stay as far away from as possible. These are: they lie, and they think they are right. Some people know how to do this in a good way, and if happens to be so that you are right you might just be... A ass. Not saying that you are wrong here, just trying to explain that if you don't listen to what others think your no better than the Nazis. The thing about opinions is that everybody got them and everybody thinks they're right. Annoying because it leads to a lot of unnecessary shouting and occasional violence, since people don't seem to take kindly to getting their "truths" questioned. It's the same with everything, but mostly bigger things like religion and politics. We know this because there has never been a war over leaving a window open, but there has over religion and politics. realizing that you too can be wrong is the basics for the evolution of mankind. ...And I still think religion is an aid for the living impaired.


Going Away

So a couple of my friends are going skiing in February next year, and after a while trying to figure out what its gonna cost, I realized that I wouldn't afford it. Since that obviously sucked, I stared planning my escape. Me and my friend Daniel, who was in the same position as me, decided that we would go traveling throughout Europe this summer. So I've been checking for good ways to get from place to place, and it looks like we'll go by buss quite a bit. I found a good page for people that were driving from country to country and didn't mind some company for the ride, so that looks like a good option too. We haven't planned more than that we're going, but I know of a few places I want to visit. Prague, Berlin and Barcelona, along with Paris are of course obvious, but I really want to see the French coastline with Marseille and Cannes. But after that I don't know, Rome would of course be really nice. And Russia too, but its apparently complicated to get a visa, and you need to register with the police when you've gotten there. So now I don't know what to do, try to save money I guess. Look for a weekend job or something, because I'm not really planning to work in the places we go to. Perhaps we could bring a guitar and a drum or something and play for money in each town we get to? Not sure if were good enough to do it though, I can play harmonica and my drum quite ok, and he knows a few chords on the guitar... But I don't think any of us are really good at playing together, so it's time to start practicing I suppose. Take care now! /Emil



I know I haven't posted in a while, but I will as soon as things calms down a bit. I'm very busy with exams and helping my mom moving this weekend. Anyway, here you have something else to read in my absence: http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/usa/john-ashcroft/ about the religious fanatic guy the Americans have as Attorney General http://www.maritimepirates.com/wear What real Pirates wore www.wikipedia.com If that don't keep you occupied for a year or five, you know too much... I'll try to post something next week... Oh, I've gotten a my own flat at last, a little cheap thing that don't cost as much as the one I got now, which isn't even mine anyway. I'm probably going skiing in February with some friend. There, that's what's been important, plus I'm thinking about becoming a Buddhist and getting dreadlocks, but I'll have to wait a year for my hair to grow a bit in that case so I might shave it instead... Time will tell, as they say. /Emil



Imagine a forrest. The trees around you, the different plants that brush against you while you walk forward. There is suddenly a tree in front of you, blocking the path ahead. You have a few choices, walk around it, or climb over or even under it. You could of course wait and think of another option, but it will perhaps only slow you down. You make your choice, it leads to something else. Maybe a swamp or a lake, maybe a glade where the sun shine and you decide to rest for a while. The birds sing soothingly around you as you walk forward, or do you swim instead? Perhaps you climb up a tree hoping to see which way to go... You wonder what it all means, and what will become of you in the end. You have an idea of what you would like, but the path is not clear for us. This means you can of course choose to make some decisions, but not decide all for yourself what path to choose. This is life, or at least how you could view it. There are many angles from which you can look at it, some that are good and other that are bad. As long as you realize that life doesn't have a purpose as long as you don't give it one, you will turn out alright. Try to do what feels best, and don't hide from what pains you. It wont disappear just because you want it to. Live life as seems good, and don't forget that if you are lonely, you just haven't found the right friends yet. Take care, Emil.


Mirrors and Beer

I had fun this Wednesday, got really drunk and went to bed in the early morning, just as it should be. Started the whole thing at my place, only 4 people (myself counted) was there but we had quite fun anyhow. Then we walked over to the pub at the university, meet some friends, danced badly in a circle, asked the DJs to play songs they didn't have. When we got home, two classmates crashed at my place, the clock was like 05:30 in the morning. I was badly hangover'd, but I got rid of it almost completely to the poweryoga later that night. Looks kinda bad to come there totally wrecked you know... And today we've had a small storm, so I've spent the day taking it easy, cleaning up very little, and just kicked back and listened to some nice Swedish hip-hop. Chords mostly. Oh, just realized I was out yesterday doing some spot-hunting for Parkour, found some nice ones too, over at the local kindergarten. A couple of nice trees nicely located close to benches and some other stuff. Today I saw Mirrormask, really great movie with lots of imagination, everybody who has a bit of it should see it. Its about a girl who has to save herself from herself in the kingdoms of light and darkness, and that's the easy explanation... A few psychological influences in it to, but mostly a thrillingly beautiful story. Very good, see it.


People and views

Its been a bunch of interesting days. Yesterday I wrote my second exam, and in the evening we had a party with some of the people from the class. I had really fun, even though we were only seven there (and were over 30 in the class). Not fun becouse it happened anything fun, mostly because I had a bunch of fun conversations, some of whom were very philosophical and even very emotional in nature. I sound like I'm a fifty-ish professor or something now, but I liked it because you learn so much about people, and mostly about yourself. I realized that I have quite bad selfconfidense, and that I hide it by pretending to be very serious and reserved. Also that I easily feel uncomfortable in peoples company unless someone says something, I feel exposed and sometimes even afraid. I don't think this any unique problem, but since its the first I've experienced of it, it is to me. I've also heard what some people think of me, and they were completely honest to me. And I feel that being able to be so honest to each other means that we could become very good friends. Today I've watched the main part of Neon Genesis Evangelion. A very good anime series, with relations as the most important part of the story, very interesting psychological aspects of life brought up and leaves you with more questions than answers. That I think is what makes any show a good one, that it gets people thinking and shows them a new view of the world. I'm not normally that lazy, but I'm not normally that hangover either... Anyway, I just feel like this is one of the best weekends I've been trough so far, and its not even over yet! Life is very good from time to time, remember that when it feels bad.


The Death of A President

I just saw this brilliant drama about something that hasn't even happened. The fact that is in the form of a documentary makes it all the more frightening. It brings up a number of questions that need answering, and also questions both the American government, and its people. What I would like to ask you is a simple question. Is terrorism a crime? Why? Could you perform an act of terrorism? You would of course not see it as one yourself... The thing about people is they always believe they are right, its actually basic psychology... A person that does not believe that most of their actions and thoughts are good and right are viewed as having a slight psychological defect. So why would a terrorist be any exception? They are people too, often misled by their superiors, and promised false rewards in paradise. Of course this is what is told to those who become Muslim terrorist, what others are told I don't know much about. They believe that if they give their lives in a suicide bombing they will do Allah's bidding, when in fact he is probably turning in his grave. But I wasn't really going to address this topic, what I'm getting at is the fact that most people are to lazy to form their own opinions. Or they are so sure of being right that they don't listen to what others has to say. If you think I'm wrong I encourage you to say so, but then explain why you feel that way. Watch The Death of a President and also watch V for Vendetta. Listen to people, and they might listen to you...


Getting Bloging

The first blog in a line of hopefully many. It feel both scaring and exciting to be able to share my thoughts and feeling with people I never knew existed. Well first of, I'll start by introducing myself. I'm this guy living in Sweden, quite a young one, nineteen since little over a month. I have an apartment down on the West coast, and are right now studying English. I've lived in Halmstad for over half a year at least, and I'm already getting tired of it. The joy of being somewhere new and for the most part unknown makes you feel alive in a stronger way than your everyday life does. My studies makes it more interesting, its a lot harder than what I'm used to from before, and I actually have to use my brain for most of the time. Everything is new, the places you eat, where your supposed to be at different times, what you learn. And the people of course, meeting new people, learning what kind of persons they are. But I wont go into any details this time at least. I like movies and music, drama and jazz is what I'm into right now. Life is what is truly interesting, and I think jazz represents it quite good, it has its ups and down, constantly changing shape into something else. I also like to go out and do some Parkour once in a while, alto I must confess I'm kinda lazy there... You know how it is, there's always something more interesting than what you should do, even if you sometimes do it by your own choice. But that's it for now, not that I couldn't have written more, I'm just a bit tired. Have to get in bed in time for my Power yoga tomorrow. See you around people!

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