Life, Insanity and Information

Jupp, I'm finally saying something about myself, though I doubt it will be a glorious description of one of the heroes of our time. Anyway, before I depress myself, or you, to death, here's some basic info about me: I'm addicted to music. Meaning I can easily listen to 10 records a day, no problem. Movies are something else I tend to love, though I haven't felt like watching any lately for some reason yet to be brought to light. I am some sort of slacker nerd, if you need that sort of definition. Some people say I'm more indie though. I have no idea, and don't really care either. I am a university student, Intellectual History to be be precise. Coincidently, this is something of the most boring i have written in my life. Who give a dead dogs cock about it, except for my mother? And what does this say about me? Nothing really, I listen to a lot of music, but who doesn't? I like movies, most people do. So, what terrible secrets do I hide? Who are my victims? What hides in the dark corners of my soul? Not much, I have thought about killing people once or twice, fighting and dying for some cause I thought was just at that time. Orgy's, wild sex in one form or another, becoming a hermit and discovering all aspects of myself. I think a lot, would be the short answer. The only thing I know is that I don't know much about myself. I have no idea what I am, what I am able to do, what I could become if I strive for a goal. I don't even know if I have any real goals. This is what I have realized after having lived for 20 years, more or less. The years pass and you learn more and more, but all this knowledge makes it harder to decide between right and wrong. I'm not even sure there is such a thing as right or wrong, I do know what I think is right and wrong, but isn't that really all we got? Fashion, tv, computers, media, art, books, music, commercials, pins, food, and so on and on and on. The world is so full of information that we shut ourself off to get away from it. We drown in the constant flow, but have no choice but to accept it, doing otherwise would be admitting that we've lost control. As I walk trough this fairly small town that I live in, all these things bombard me. I am aware of what people wear, what the papers say, what cars I see pass me by. But the only thing that does not hit me until I am home again is that I am part of it all. The world we live in is no longer in our control. Sure, we have elections, we can chose to live on day by day, but what happens if we try to change the system, or break out of it? The system ends up rejecting us for the most part. And if some small change does take place, it's mostly so small that we don't notice it at first. But on the other hand, doesn't the modern human have to be constantly changing with society? All this new information hitting us day after day, hour after hour, second after second. If we don't change, perhaps we erode until we disappear? We get worn out, or maybe depressed, if there even is a difference. No wonder people go crazy when you think about it, if you change your reality you change the information. And if reality is no longer real, you no longer have to put up with it all. Maybe insanity is the sane reaction to todays society of never-ending input? If the society is insane, does that mean that your insane if you accept it, or if you reject it?

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