I am not in a happy sunshine mood. The mood I'm in is the kind of mood that would embrace massive extinction of humanity. I'm thinking a global nuclear war, or the sudden implosion of the sun into a black hole, or a supernova maybe. The fact that we are actually still alive is the only thing I can think of that is in our advantage at the moment. We'd have to have done something right to still be alive, right? Or maybe we're just too stubborn to die. If there was a creator, his infinite patience would have run out by now. If there is a creator, he's written us of as a mistake, and most likely hate us. Not enough to kill us all, but that's only a matter of time by now. Negative? Maybe a little. But you surely can't deny the fact that your all fuck ups? Don't even try and deny it, that'll only show how much of a fuck up you are. A good job, a good house, nice clothes, a new car. They lack value. If you make your own clothes, build your own house and car, that makes a bit better. But the fact that you have that kind of money is even worse. And people say money is a part of the human evolution. If it where, why haven't things changed? Why are people still gathering big piles of cash that they don't need? Because they can. That's the only reason I can think of. Sure, kids would be another, but what kind of person turns out alright if they don't have to do anything at all in their entire life? Bored and rich fucks, most likely. Maybe I've watched Fight Club too many times, maybe I've read too much Marx and Engels. And maybe I've listened to way too much Rage Against the Machine. But what does it matter? Is the world changing into the better? Lots of poor countries are still poor, and much of it is out fault. Fucking imperialism. Economical rape is more like it. Wars. Conflicts. Bored teens who realize they have no value, no great role to play for the better of humanity. What fucking choices do they have? Go around with the knowledge that most likely, nothing they will ever do will matter? Kill themselves? Who knows. Some might turn out into people much like me. Bored, disillusioned people who have trouble to express feelings, who become anit-social rejects because they don't see the point of it all? Ring any bells? Or are you perhaps the kind of person who try and cover up the fact that it doesn't matter by constantly surrounding yourself with other? If it's an attempt to keep boredom away, or an illusion maintained to fool ourselves into thinking we're actually important, I don't know. Maybe I should try that for a change? It wouldn't be any problem, I have lots of people I could hang out with. I just don't see the point. But hey, maybe that's what I need, a new perspective on it all? Or maybe I'm just a whiny fuck who needs to get laid? At least life's kinda interesting from time to time. Otherwise I'd probably strapped a bomb to my chest and blew myself up at some nice family beach, splattering myself all over the sunbathing parents, and the kids playing in the water. If I did, I'd probably write some sort of suicide note, or more of a disclaimer, saying that: "There was no reason. I didn't need to do this. But there wasn't any reason not to either. Life in itself could have been reason enough, but is their any need for one person in todays society? Would things fall apart whiteout some of us? No. At most someone might get annoyed that something takes too long. That's it. A suicide is just, at most, a delay for a small part of society. We're all just delays." THAT would really piss people of. Of course, killing yourself is an easy way out. Always is. Especially if you live in the western world. Then your just a whiny fucker who don't realize that there are people much worse of than you. In fact, about half the world is. If you've seen your family killed by some group of angry kids because some fucking asshole in the country next to yours didn't like that your fucking asshole wanted help from the UN to build a hospital. Or how about just because your people have always been in conflict, or religion maybe? There's always some excuse to kill people it seems. Fuck it. I need to study. And guess what I'm reading at the moment? Utopia. If that isn't irony I don't know what is...

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