Competetative Use or Abuse of Drugs?

Drugs are, depending on who you ask, good or bad for you. Ask a Doctor and he'd say some are. Ask a addict and he'd probably tell you to fuck off or something. He might also try to kill and eat you to dispose of the evidence. I would. But it seems there is a new form of drug use on the horizon, the sort that do not surprise anyone who actually know a thing or two about this in the least, but we can't all keep up with what new and exciting new flowers are being found in the rain forest that turns the world into Jello when you smoke them, now can we? I sure as hell can't. I need some reality to stab me in the sockets once in a while. And I can't get that if I have elves singing happy tunes about la-la land in my head, while drooling on myself on the floor. So therefore I welcome this new approach with gusto. The new type of drug is not for fun, it is not to relax and enjoy life, it's not even about seeing pretty music and hearing beautiful colors. It's about working until you knuckles bleed and your ears rot and fall off. Drugs that will turn your brain into a nuclear powered machine bursting with ideas and processing at such a speed that you'll most likely have to wear an iceberg on your head to avoid spontaneous combustion. Now try shouting that 3 times from a bell tower while dancing with a monkey. You can't, can you? Getting a monkey can be a bit tricky though, so I won't torment you about it too much. Where are they doing this you may ask? Silicone Valley, of course! Where Pamela Andersson rule supreme, and the size of your bosom dictate your standard of living. Even men have huge knockers in Silicone Valley! ... Or maybe that's the script for a porno I'm working on? Yeah, probably is. Anyway, the people who sail the virtual seas, and pirate and plunder the world of bytes are drinking their super-rum and building castles out of their ideas. The next version of Microsoft will most likely have been made with the aid of powerful brain boosters. I wonder, if you look closely, can you maybe see the outlines of a smiley face starring back back at you? Via Open the Future.

Oh God Why Am I Not Well Yet?

Did I scare you now? Admit it, you thought I was gonna write and complain about still being sick once more. But no, I am gonna complain about other things instead! Like the fast food industry, and why it evil and should be isolated and sent into orbit with nuclear warheads! (Except for the fact that sending up a few thousand McDonalds, Burger Kings, and so on on a huge wire attached to nukes would look awesome that is.) Let's start with the things we know: it will fucking kill you in the long run. It does not provide you with what you need, it only fills your stomach to some extent. The only good thing is that it's fast and comfortable. We don't need more comfortable things in our lives though. What we need is something like the plague 5.3, so that once we make it to work whiteout our face rotting and falling off, we're happy. Thank God for the failing economy and environmental crisis though. These are things we can all agree upon. We gather in little groups, and say "This is bad. Fuck you problems, we're gonna do something about you!" and some actually does! Some think about it, or complain about it on their blog like they're better than everyone else. Of course I would never do that, but you know what sort of people I talk about. The ones driving diesel SUVs, that get fake tans, that would actually wear expensive jewelry. (For some reason I start thinking the word jewelry comes from the fact that Jews are supposedly good at diamonds. I know it's jewel-ry, but I keep thinking jew-lery.... Maybe Sarah Silverman could create a fake super villain with that name or something?) Ok, so maybe you wouldn't confuse me with tasteless rich people. All they have to do is buy whatever the designers make. Poor people have to buy cheap things and make them look good. I buy stuff from thrift stores and make it into other stuff, some of which you can actually wear whiteout violating indecency laws! But that's an easy point to make really. If you're used to adapting to things, and have to be creative to survive in todays society, of course you're gonna be more interesting than someone who just does what they please and don't have to face any obstacles. And yes, I have something of a negative of rich people. Or at least rich people who are either lazy or stupid. Or act like idiots in bars. Unless they buy me things. I can't hate people that buy me things, even if I don't really like them. This is not hypocrisy, it is honesty. Ok, so I might have side tracked a little there... Anyway: environmentally fast food is disaster. Cheap Indian beef... Hey, aren't cows supposed to be holy? Or is that China... Ah well, some poor bastard of a country will have to cut down their rainforest's to grow cows for lazy people to eat at McDonald's, or some other hell-hole of a fast food joint. It's bad for you and the environment. What else do you need to know? Maybe how to cook food? Yeah, buy yourself a cookbook instead, and make something easy and nutritious. If you really can't cook there are probably students cookbooks that you can buy. If you can't even boil an egg though you should probably sure your parent's or something... Or, you know, yell your faces of at each other. That's always fun too.

Blog Archive